she showed me the first one in the series and said

"what is this?"

i vaguely, sort of recognized a depiction of the second great triumvirate war of starfish and sea horses on oil, but i said:

"ambiguous stimuli"

she blinked rapidly three times and glanced down to make sure the recorder was going and moved on to the next one.

"what is this?"

i saw this homeless man using a crowbar to shoe a Shetland pony with a pair of BK's, but i said:

"matter unorganized."

she let out an almost-sigh, and said,

"what is this?"

this time i blinked three times. there before me, in bright, lazer-printed color, was a clown, eating a dachshund alive, blood spewing everywhere.

i drew a breath and said,

"morbidly unambiguous stimuli"

she asked me to explain.

clown eating a dachshund. maybe john wayne gacy--i don't know. wouldn't surprise me if it was. did you know clowns register their faces in a national database to prevent plargarism?

she almost dropped the card and her face flushed pink in all the appropriate places.

her hands shook as she showed me the next card, a plain-jane Rorschach.

"nothing" i say and she doesn't even try to follow-up.

i can't tell, but i think she's starting to cry.

she says we have to end the test now and she will have someone else escort me back to my room.

i guess she was an animal lover.